Embrace awe when your tank is empty

2025 has been a heavy year for all of us. In my consulting room I felt the weight my patients carried, and if I’m honest, I carried a lot this year too. 

At home, the “sandwich generation” reality has its own gravity with responsibilities above and below with very little space in the middle to simply breathe.

December has arrived. It’s bright lights on the outside but for many it’s a reminder of loss:  those that are no longer here, relationships that ended, bodies that changed, unmet dreams and goals. We are tired, fatigued and running on fumes. 

And somehow, on top of that, we’re expected to be socially available for office year-end functions, family gatherings, complicated dynamics, forced cheerfulness and a calendar that does not respect your nervous system.

I initially thought about writing a blog about “How to survive the festive season when your tank is empty.” But then I decided to write about something else: awe.

Not because awe is fluffy, naïve or a luxury reserved for people with easy lives. But because awe is one of the most evidence-backed ways to give the mind and the body a brief, powerful reset.

READ: Time out for adults 

What is awe?

In the scientific literature, awe is commonly described as the emotion we feel when we encounter something vast, something that stretches beyond our usual frame of reference and we experience a need for accommodation, meaning our existing mental “maps” have to expand or adjust to fit what we are seeing or sensing. 

Dacher Keltner describes it simply as being in the presence of something “vast, beyond current understanding.” 

Awe can be inspired by nature, music, art, architecture, moral courage, collective moments (think concerts, rituals, even carols) or “big ideas.” 

Awe has a crucial nuance with two broad flavours: 

• Positive awe tends to be calming and connective, and includes things like wonder, beauty and inspiration. 

• Threat-based awe is vastness mixed with fear such as storms, disasters, violence and intimidation) which can be activating and destabilising. Naturally threat-based awe does not offer the same wellbeing benefits. 

In December, many people accidentally “practice” threat-based awe through doomscrolling, news overload and being exposed to emotional ambushes at family gatherings. What we’re aiming for here is positive awe: the kind that restores.

The neuroscience of awe: why it changes how you feel

Awe is not just an idea. It has a recognisable signature in the nervous system and the brain.

• Awe can shift your nervous system toward “rest-and-digest” 

Positive awe is associated with reduced fight-or-flight activation and increased parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) activity, including engagement of the vagus nerve. 

In practical terms, positive awe can feel like your body exhaling. Not because your problems disappear but because your physiology stops treating every moment like a threat.

• Awe quiets the brain’s “self-focused network”

Neuroimaging research links awe to reduced activity in the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN), a network strongly involved in self-referential thought, mind-wandering and (when we’re stressed, rumination. 

When the DMN quiets, people often report what researchers call the “small self”: a temporary reduction in egoic, self-focused attention, replaced by a sense of connection to something larger. 

If December amplifies “me and my problems,” awe can briefly shift the lens to “I am part of something bigger.”

WATCH: It’s okay not to be okay

Why awe matters for mental health

Awe is not a cure but it is a lever and sometimes, one lever is enough to help you get through a hard week or holiday. 

• Awe reduces the “small, tight prison” of the self

When people experience awe, they commonly feel less consumed by day-to-day concerns and more connected to the world. 

This is psychologically protective because much suffering is intensified by narrowing: narrowed attention, narrowed identity, narrowed time, narrowed hope.

• Awe makes people more prosocial (and that matters more than we admit)

Awe is strongly associated with increased generosity, collaboration, and altruism, partly through the “small self” effect. 

This means that awe can make us gentler, less reactive, less entitled, less locked in “my needs vs your needs.”

And in December when social contact is unavoidable, being slightly more prosocial can be the difference between escalating a conflict and de-escalating it.

• Awe is linked to lower inflammation markers

Research has linked awe (and closely related positive emotions like wonder) with lower levels of pro-inflammatory cytokines, including IL-6. 

This matters because chronic stress and inflammation sit at the crossroads of physical illness and mood disorders.

How to experience more awe, especially when you’re exhausted

Awe does not have to be a mountaintop experience. In fact, when you’re depleted, you need micro-awe: small moments that are deliberately noticed.

Here are practical ways to cultivate it, without adding pressure.

1. The 30-second “awe pause”

Once a day, stop and ask: What is vast here? What is beautiful, intricate or unexpectedly meaningful? What is happening that my brain is skipping past because it’s in survival mode?

Look for the geometry of a leaf, a child’s radiant joy, the kindness of a stranger, sunlight filtering through a window. This is not toxic positivity. It is attention training.

2. Nature is the most accessible awe-generator

A short walk somewhere with even a hint of wildness can do more than we expect. By focussing on a beach horizon, the mountains, the smell of rain or the night sky, reliably delivers the “vastness” component of awe. If you cannot leave home simply stand outside and look up. Vastness is free.

3. Use music as “portable awe”

Choose one song that reliably moves you and listen with one rule: no multitasking. Awe often arrives when attention is undivided.

4. Look for “moral beauty”

Witnessing courage, integrity, generosity, skill or forgiveness can elicit a form of awe sometimes called elevation. In December, moral beauty might look like a colleague covering a shift, someone being kind to a difficult family member, a friend asking a sincere question instead of giving advice. Train your eyes to catch these moments.

5. Create “awe anchors” for social events

If you have a function or family gathering that drains you, plan a 2-minute awe anchor. Arrive early and step outside to look at the sky. Notice one detail of beauty in the environment such as the light, architecture or sound. Recall one thing that is larger than this moment like your values, your purpose, your faith, your broader story. This is not avoidance. It’s nervous-system hygiene.

6. Beware of threat-based awe

Some content hijacks the awe circuitry through fear, and these include graphic news, disaster footage, intimidation or toxic power displays. Threat-based awe tends to amplify powerlessness, not wellbeing. If you feel “awed” but also anxious and dysregulated, gently name it: This is not the kind of awe that restores me.

When the tank is empty, we often search for big answers such as a holiday, a breakthrough, a complete reset. Awe offers something smaller but more realistic: a momentary widening that reminds you that your life is larger than this week and your identity is larger than your fatigue.

If your December is tender, may you find awe in the vastness of the sky, in the courage of someone you love, in the sound of music, in the quiet miracle of your body carrying you through a hard year.

And if you are not okay, truly not okay, please reach out for support. Awe is a powerful adjunct but it’s not a substitute for care.